Hello,

Earlier this year a relationship developed with someone from work - it
never became a romantic relationship - but it was a two way welcomed
thing, lots of flirting, but I was messed around a bit. During this
time the individual left me off important work emails, took credit for
my work and began to undermime me infront of my team. This person also
rubbed their foot against mine in an appraisal. The person would put
work one on one meetings in my diary to get me to talk about personal
things and do lots of intense, erractic and odd behaviour. Very stalker
like things.

In April having had enough of all of this I asked this person to leave
me alone personally and informally raised this with managment and HR -
I had been distressed and upset by a lot of the behaviour.

From this point they began to send me direct work emails each week
(They should not be contacting me directly and do not contact the other
5 people who do the same job as me). Over a 16 week period I had 18 one
on one emails, emails trying to engage me in conversation, blank
emails, presentations left on my desk, left off many key emails, emails
to try and set me up in front of others. This was a significantly
disproportionate time spent to me vs my peer group....in fact my peer
group had no communicattion from her at all (only group
communication).

During this time I continued to communicate to HR and line management
about what was happening.  They asked if I wanted an investigation, but
I said no thinking it would stop. I struggled to cope and had 2
councilling sessions which the outcome were clear I was dealing with
someone with a personality dissorder who would be lethal in the
business world. I also sought external legal advice and both parties
recommended I take action.

In Sept after months of this behaviour I raised it formally and made a
complaint, asking for her to leave me alone and not contact me. An
investigation was done and when the person involved got interviewed she
raised a counter-grevaince saying I have sexually harressed her. This is
false and anything I did of a sexual nature (saying she was beautiful,
attractive etc) very early in the year was re-ciprecated and was
welcomed.

I am worried she may either just lie - or complain about conversations
I have with other people (not her) where I probably do make innuendo's
- but all in a jovial way. 

Any advice on how to handle the false counter claim - what people think
etc would be welcomed.

Thanks




-- 
Vegas78

On Oct 4, 4:10 pm, Vegas78  wrote:
> Hello,
>
> Earlier this year a relationship developed with someone from work - it
> never became a romantic relationship - but it was a two way welcomed
> thing, lots of flirting, but I was messed around a bit.
Actually, I would say this /was/ a romantic relationship - I assume
you mean it didn't become
sexual.

[BIG snip]

> In Sept after months of this behaviour I raised it formally and made a
> complaint, asking for her to leave me alone and not contact me. An
> investigation was done and when the person involved got interviewed she
> raised a counter-grevaince saying I have sexually harressed her. This is
> false and anything I did of a sexual nature (saying she was beautiful,
> attractive etc) very early in the year was re-ciprecated and was
> welcomed.
>
> I am worried she may either just lie - or complain about conversations
> I have with other people (not her) where I probably do make innuendo's
> - but all in a jovial way.
>
> Any advice on how to handle the false counter claim - what people think
> etc would be welcomed.

My guess this is going to be /very/ stressful, but I think you just
have to keep calm and reject her claims.  The fact that you kept
managers and HR in the loop is going to be helpful - it is /extremely/
unlikely that she has said anything about her counter claim before
(somebody would have had a word with you).

Bear in mind that the from the point of view of the authorities, at
least one of you is not telling the truth - and they don't (yet) know
who it is.  That doesn't mean they won't come up with the right answer
in the end; you just have to hang in there.