I have been representing myself for the first 2 hearings, during which I
have managed to get a court order for shared school holidays, alt
weekends-fri to mon and every Tuesday night.  I actually applied for
shared residency order, but it seems to have moved more into a shared
care order.

The final piece of the puzzle is to add alt Monday nights to bridge the
alt weekend to the regular Tuesday night. This will in effect almost
give us shared care.  At hearing 2, the RP wouldn't agree to this, so
the judge has asked us to prepare statements and come back to court in
a couple of months.

The RP states that to add these 2 extra nights per month would be
disruptive to our childs school life, and that during term time his
primary address should be with her.

So, my statement needs to focus on my benefit to our childs school
life, that the extra night on Monday will in fact add more continuity
for our child and that he will still live the majority of his time with
the RP.  We had 12 months of an extra night every other month up until
last year - again, this was stopped because the RP felt it was
disruptive.

Our child is in junior school, I have a lot of involvement with the
school. I've never missed a parents evening, school play etc etc. I am
lucky that I run my own businesses so I am able to give our child lot's
of attention, where as if I had a 9-5 job, that wouldn't happen. A lot
of my work also involves teaching people things and is very knowledge
based. I guess what I'm trying to say is that both myself and the RP
have a lot of different things to offer our child - 2 parents
supporting a child through school is better than 1, surely.

So, I really wanted to ask if anyone has experience in this area or if
anyone knows of any research around shared care, co parenting, benefits
to education and of course if anyone has any negative feelings, I am
very interested. I don't want to just get these extra nights for the
sake of it, I want it to be for our child's benefit. So the devils
advocates would be welcomed.

This third hearing is with a district judge, and they have made it
quite clear that if myself and RP can't agree, they will agree for us
on that day.

Thank you.




-- 
George Washington

On 21 Aug, 18:10, George Washington <George.Washington.
2f35...@legalbanter.co.uk> wrote:
> I have been representing myself for the first 2 hearings, during which I
> have managed to get a court order for shared school holidays, alt
> weekends-fri to mon and every Tuesday night.  I actually applied for
> shared residency order, but it seems to have moved more into a shared
> care order.
>
> The final piece of the puzzle is to add alt Monday nights to bridge the
> alt weekend to the regular Tuesday night. This will in effect almost
> give us shared care.  At hearing 2, the RP wouldn't agree to this, so
> the judge has asked us to prepare statements and come back to court in
> a couple of months.
>
> The RP states that to add these 2 extra nights per month would be
> disruptive to our childs school life, and that during term time his
> primary address should be with her.
>
> So, my statement needs to focus on my benefit to our childs school
> life, that the extra night on Monday will in fact add more continuity
> for our child and that he will still live the majority of his time with
> the RP.

That makes good sense.

> We had 12 months of an extra night every other month up until
> last year - again, this was stopped because the RP felt it was
> disruptive.

Disruptive to his schoolwork presumably? The Tuesday is already
"disruptive" and the Monday is neither here nor there.

In your situation it must be impossible for either of you to look
objectively at anything. Present your statement to the court in the
way you have presented it here, with the emphasis on Education,
Education, Education, and I don't see why you would be turned down.

If you are don't worry about it - let it go. One day a month isn't
much either way.

On Aug 23, 2:05 am, troystead...@yahoo.co.uk wrote:
> On 21 Aug, 18:10, George Washington <George.Washington.
>
>
>
> 2f35...@legalbanter.co.uk> wrote:
> > I have been representing myself for the first 2 hearings, during which I
> > have managed to get a court order forsharedschool holidays, alt
> > weekends-fri to mon and every Tuesday night.  I actually applied for
> >sharedresidency order, but it seems to have moved more into ashared
> >careorder.
>
> > The final piece of the puzzle is to add alt Monday nights to bridge the
> > alt weekend to the regular Tuesday night. This will in effect almost
> > give ussharedcare.  At hearing 2, the RP wouldn't agree to this, so
> > the judge has asked us to prepare statements and come back to court in
> > a couple of months.
>
> > The RP states that to add these 2 extra nights per month would be
> > disruptive to our childs school life, and that during term time his
> > primary address should be with her.
>
> > So, my statement needs to focus on my benefit to our childs school
> > life, that the extra night on Monday will in fact add more continuity
> > for our child and that he will still live the majority of his time with
> > the RP.
>
> That makes good sense.
>
> > We had 12 months of an extra night every other month up until
> > last year - again, this was stopped because the RP felt it was
> > disruptive.
>
> Disruptive to his schoolwork presumably? The Tuesday is already
> "disruptive" and the Monday is neither here nor there.
>
> In your situation it must be impossible for either of you to look
> objectively at anything. Present your statement to the court in the
> way you have presented it here, with the emphasis on Education,
> Education, Education, and I don't see why you would be turned down.
>
> If you are don't worry about it - let it go. One day a month isn't
> much either way.

I have just been through six years of this same problem with my 2
boys, I have recently been awarded shared care on a week about
arrangement, this was from doing the same things you are doing. You
cannot give your ex partner anything that she can use in a court
against you. You must treat her with respect only because your child
or children love her. This is a very hard thing to do, but in the end
it is worth it. My ex has thrown every possible thing at me to stop
this shared care arangement from going ahead, complaints of child
abuse, neglect and 'disrupting the childrens routine'. You have to
develop a thick skin and alway realise that if you are there for the
children and never play at that level, the child will always know the
truth.
The clincher for me was getting a order from the court for a 'family
report', in Australia you can apply and pay for this without a court
order. What happens here is that both parties and the children speak
to a psychologist and he/she makes recommendations to the court, the
court takes these recommendations very seriously as they are always in
the best interest of the children, once I had that she had very little
to argue against and the court ruled unanimously  in my favor. It was
a long and hard battle to get here, and the one piece of advice I can
give is to always be there for the child and never let your emotion,
or her emotion for that matter get in the way of what is your role, of
parenting a child that you both created. Good luck.
.
.
.
.
and read my blog www.thefatlindas.blogspot.com