A PLEA FROM BILL GATES TO GEORGE W. BUSH

The Bank hath benefit of interest on all monies which it creates out
of nothing". - William Paterson on the founding of The Bank Of
England

------------------------------------------------------

President Bush,

Oh hi, sorry to bother you Mr President, my name is Bill Gates. No,
not that Bill Gates, that was what started the trouble. Let me
explain, because I really do need your help. Last August, my good lady
and myself decided to take a holiday in Vegas. I've never been much of
a gambler, Gladys and I were sitting having a quiet drink watching a
high roller at the craps table, when this guy in a tux walks up and
addresses me by name. You are Bill Gates, he asks; yes, I say. Can I
tempt you to take a flutter? he continues. Well, I don't really, not
usually. Haven't you left you wallet in the hotel room? chips in
Gladys. Oh that's no obstacle, says the guy in the tux, holding out
his hand and introducing himself as Len, I'm sure we can extend you
credit, Mr Gates. How about ten billion dollars, he says, with what I
can only describe as a tone of total sincerity. Make it thirty and
you've got a punter, I said. Now, I really wasn't expecting him to
agree there and then. He didn't even ask me to sign a credit note.

Like I said, I've never been much of a gambler, and when the croupier
brought me all those chips, well, they didn't seem like real money at
all. Amazing thing roulette; I wouldn't have thought it was possible
for red to come up eleven times in a row. When you start off staking
ten thousand dollars a spin and doubling up after every loss, it soon
mounts up. I can't believe I got through the whole thirty billion in
one evening.

The next night, Gladys said we'd better go to another casino, well,
actually she thought we'd better go home, but I thought I'd better try
to recover some of my losses. It's amazing how easy it is to get
credit in Vegas when your name is Bill Gates. I just walked up to the
casino manager, flashed my driving licence and said Hi, I'm Bill
Gates, how about a line of credit? Certainly, Mr Gates, he said. Forty
billion dollars all right? They'll only give you thirty billion at the
Desert Inn.

Anyway, I thought perhaps I'd have better luck at blackjack. Heck, the
cards were soooo-oooo baaa-aaad! Still, I figured it was all
roundabouts and swings, if I lost the whole lot I could always try the
crap tables the following night. I did, and it wasn't. The next night
it was high stakes slot machines, the night after it was, well, back
to roulette. I never had a problem getting credit. And my luck never
changed.

After I'd dropped close to two hundred billion dollars the guy in the
tux comes to me and says, you're not really Bill Gates, are you? I
mean, you are Bill Gates, but you're not that Bill Gates. 'Fraid not,
I said. Well, that leaves us with a problem, Mr Gates, because you owe
us and our partners at the Desert Inn, Golden Nugget et al a shade
over two hundred and five billion dollars, and the interest is
accruing daily. How exactly do you propose to repay us?

I must confess, I hadn't thought of that. To be honest I didn't
realise you guys had that much money. We don't, he replied, even we're
not that rich. Yes, but you gave me thirty billion dollars credit
first thing, I said. How could you do that if you didn't have the
money to start with? We gave you credit, Mr Gates, not money. Anyone
can give credit. Yes, I said, but where does the credit come from? The
same place the banks get their credit, he said, we created it. Banks
create credit, I asked? Of course, he said, I thought everyone knew
that. They do it by writing figures in a book, or inputting data into
a computer. Oh fine, I said. Well, in that case, as I owe you two
hundred billion dollars or so of money you created by writing figures
in a book, I guess I can repay you by writing a figure for the same
amount, in my cheque book. Then the two will cancel out. Only if you
have money in your account, Mr Gates, he said, and as you have none,
at least not that much, we'll have to come to a different arrangement.
Oh I said. Only banks have the power to honour their own cheques, Mr
Gates, he said.

So my problem, Mr President, our problem, is that the boys in Vegas
created two hundred billion dollars out of nothing and loaned it to me
at interest. I gave it back to them and now they want me to repay it
as well. Heck, not only was this credit created out of nothing, it was
spent on nothing. True, it gave my good lady and myself a few hours
entertainment, but It profited no one, it wasn't used to build a
hospital, to improve the city's infrastructure, to relieve the
terrible suffering of the American people in the wake of the recent
hurricanes, or even to put anyone's kids through college. The money
was created out of nothing by parasites and squandered on useless
pleasure, but now it has to be repaid, and repaid in full.

And if it isn't repaid, Mr President, heck, the American economy will
collapse. Well, that's not quite true, the guy in the tux has given me
until Monday, then he says he'll send a couple of his gorillas round
to break both my arms.

Anyway Mr President, if you can bail me out with two hundred billion
dollars, I would be most grateful. Oh, one other thing, you can't do
what the boys in Vegas did and create this money out of nothing. They
say this is expressly forbidden. No, no! You have to repay them using
taxpayers' money. Otherwise the confidence of the American public in
Las Vegas will be undermined. And if that happens, heck, people just
won't gamble anymore.

http://www.alexanderbaron.150m.com/credit-crunch-satire.html

thedarkman wrote:

> A PLEA FROM BILL GATES TO GEORGE W. BUSH
> 
> The Bank hath benefit of interest on all monies which it creates out
> of nothing". - William Paterson on the founding of The Bank Of
> England
> 
> ------------------------------------------------------
> 
> President Bush,
> 
> Oh hi, sorry to bother you Mr President, my name is Bill Gates. No,
> not that Bill Gates, that was what started the trouble. Let me
> explain, because I really do need your help. Last August, my good lady
> and myself decided to take a holiday in Vegas. I've never been much of
> a gambler, Gladys and I were sitting having a quiet drink watching a
> high roller at the craps table, when this guy in a tux walks up and
> addresses me by name. You are Bill Gates, he asks; yes, I say. Can I
> tempt you to take a flutter? he continues. Well, I don't really, not
> usually. Haven't you left you wallet in the hotel room? chips in
> Gladys. Oh that's no obstacle, says the guy in the tux, holding out
> his hand and introducing himself as Len, I'm sure we can extend you
> credit, Mr Gates. How about ten billion dollars, he says, with what I
> can only describe as a tone of total sincerity. Make it thirty and
> you've got a punter, I said. Now, I really wasn't expecting him to
> agree there and then. He didn't even ask me to sign a credit note.
> 
> Like I said, I've never been much of a gambler, and when the croupier
> brought me all those chips, well, they didn't seem like real money at
> all. Amazing thing roulette; I wouldn't have thought it was possible
> for red to come up eleven times in a row. When you start off staking
> ten thousand dollars a spin and doubling up after every loss, it soon
> mounts up. I can't believe I got through the whole thirty billion in
> one evening.
> 
> The next night, Gladys said we'd better go to another casino, well,
> actually she thought we'd better go home, but I thought I'd better try
> to recover some of my losses. It's amazing how easy it is to get
> credit in Vegas when your name is Bill Gates. I just walked up to the
> casino manager, flashed my driving licence and said Hi, I'm Bill
> Gates, how about a line of credit? Certainly, Mr Gates, he said. Forty
> billion dollars all right? They'll only give you thirty billion at the
> Desert Inn.
> 
> Anyway, I thought perhaps I'd have better luck at blackjack. Heck, the
> cards were soooo-oooo baaa-aaad! Still, I figured it was all
> roundabouts and swings, if I lost the whole lot I could always try the
> crap tables the following night. I did, and it wasn't. The next night
> it was high stakes slot machines, the night after it was, well, back
> to roulette. I never had a problem getting credit. And my luck never
> changed.
> 
> After I'd dropped close to two hundred billion dollars the guy in the
> tux comes to me and says, you're not really Bill Gates, are you? I
> mean, you are Bill Gates, but you're not that Bill Gates. 'Fraid not,
> I said. Well, that leaves us with a problem, Mr Gates, because you owe
> us and our partners at the Desert Inn, Golden Nugget et al a shade
> over two hundred and five billion dollars, and the interest is
> accruing daily. How exactly do you propose to repay us?
> 
> I must confess, I hadn't thought of that. To be honest I didn't
> realise you guys had that much money. We don't, he replied, even we're
> not that rich. Yes, but you gave me thirty billion dollars credit
> first thing, I said. How could you do that if you didn't have the
> money to start with? We gave you credit, Mr Gates, not money. Anyone
> can give credit. Yes, I said, but where does the credit come from? The
> same place the banks get their credit, he said, we created it. Banks
> create credit, I asked? Of course, he said, I thought everyone knew
> that. They do it by writing figures in a book, or inputting data into
> a computer. Oh fine, I said. Well, in that case, as I owe you two
> hundred billion dollars or so of money you created by writing figures
> in a book, I guess I can repay you by writing a figure for the same
> amount, in my cheque book. Then the two will cancel out. Only if you
> have money in your account, Mr Gates, he said, and as you have none,
> at least not that much, we'll have to come to a different arrangement.
> Oh I said. Only banks have the power to honour their own cheques, Mr
> Gates, he said.
> 
> So my problem, Mr President, our problem, is that the boys in Vegas
> created two hundred billion dollars out of nothing and loaned it to me
> at interest. I gave it back to them and now they want me to repay it
> as well. Heck, not only was this credit created out of nothing, it was
> spent on nothing. True, it gave my good lady and myself a few hours
> entertainment, but It profited no one, it wasn't used to build a
> hospital, to improve the city's infrastructure, to relieve the
> terrible suffering of the American people in the wake of the recent
> hurricanes, or even to put anyone's kids through college. The money
> was created out of nothing by parasites and squandered on useless
> pleasure, but now it has to be repaid, and repaid in full.
> 
> And if it isn't repaid, Mr President, heck, the American economy will
> collapse. Well, that's not quite true, the guy in the tux has given me
> until Monday, then he says he'll send a couple of his gorillas round
> to break both my arms.
> 
> Anyway Mr President, if you can bail me out with two hundred billion
> dollars, I would be most grateful. Oh, one other thing, you can't do
> what the boys in Vegas did and create this money out of nothing. They
> say this is expressly forbidden. No, no! You have to repay them using
> taxpayers' money. Otherwise the confidence of the American public in
> Las Vegas will be undermined. And if that happens, heck, people just
> won't gamble anymore.
> 
> http://www.alexanderbaron.150m.com/credit-crunch-satire.html

Perhaps John McCain, who is a keen gambler, should also be told. But not in
Sarah Palin's hearing.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/uselection2008/johnmccain/3098739/John-McCains-gambling-habit-could-alienate-Christian-Republicans.html
http://tinyurl.com/4zrevb

-- 
Facts are sacred ... but comment is free