Ceredigion MP Mark Williams is to mount his election campaign through
the medium of dance, his spokesman revealed yesterday at a press
conference.
"While he was banged up in Hereford nick, Mark was enrolled in a
class
entitled Conflict Resolution Through Dance, aimed at reducing latent
male aggression and to encourage a more honest and earnest approach
to
their lives. Mark thinks that this is a great idea and now needs, for
emotional reasons only, to conduct his entire campaign in this
manner", his spokesman Bluffer O' Crispin stated.
Williams is set to challenge Gordon Brown at prime ministers question
time through a series of hand and arms gestures, while his face
contorts to reveal emotions and events. His legs are to form the
swaying and rhythm. The entire process is likely to take the form of
a
two-hand reel, and Williams is planning to give his smartarse remarks
in the style of a mediaeval mimers jig.
However, there is to be a parliamentary inquiry into whether dance is
a legitimate and legally binding form of democratic politicking.
Council clerk Phil M'Pockets was said to be "seething with that
bollix, it's just another pathetic excuse to avoid answering the
question. He's screwed." In what appears to be a personal appeal to
the Liberal democrat, he added "Just give it up, you bum".
Sources at Libdem Central Office ,(a shed at the end of Mair
Benjamins
allotment) support their MPs actions. In answering questions as to
whether the reason for this support may be because the party fear
dangerous revelations about themselves, Aberystwyth's Mayor Trevor
"Boy" Shaftoe said, "I mean yeah, if he doesn't speak he can't drop
us
in it, obviously", and added that what he termed "non-verbal
canvassing" might be better: "Perhaps what he has to say will be so
shocking for British voters that they may not vote for us and that
would be the real miscarriage of justice".