Subject: The Glasgow Vasectomy
Glesga vasectomy....
After having their 11th child (Pocahontas Brittany Larsson O'Neill),
a Glesga couple decided that enough was enough because they could not
afford
a larger bed. So the husband went to his GP and told him that he and
his
missus didn't want to have any more children (Wur no wantin ony mair
weans,
so wur no).

        The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a
vasectomy
that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. "A less costly
alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a firework banger
available from most east end corner shops all year round, put it in an
empty
beer can, light it then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.

        The Glesga Ned said to the doctor, "Ah might no be the
smartest
tool in the shed, but Ah cannae see how pittin a firework in a beer
caun
next to my ear is gonnae help me no tae huv ony mair weans".

 "Trust me," said the doctor.

    So the Ned went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can.
     He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1" "2" "3" "4"
"5"  .....
 at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and
resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure is available on the NHS, by the way, and works in
Govan, Barrachnie, Garthamlock, Clydebank , Parkhead,
Caldercruix, Shettleston, Bishopbriggs, Carmyle, and Barlanark